It's 202something and to the bewilderment of my enemies, I finally found a man who is willing to settle with my fine ass and short dada hair.
He is everything I have always wanted, a kind thoughtful man, who gives me room to fly and be myself.
I don't want to share too much about my man. He is not the subject of interest here, my friends__asoebis are.
As I type these words I start to wonder where the term asoebi originated and how the tradition of the girls’ female friends escorting her on her big day came to be.
I am tempted to leave this and go do some research but No, talking about my wedding is more important. So, I added all my friends who are still single to a WhatsApp group chat.
Why would I call them or send a text to ask if they want to be part of my asoebi? They should be grateful they are coming to spend their money, dance and shake bumbum on my big day. I am doing them a favour.
Who knows, they could find a man too if they play their cards well. I pity single girls shaa…desperate people.
After adding them, I sent them the fabric we would use for the wedding. Due to the continuous inflation over the last couple of years, the prices of things are triple what they used to be in 2024.
But as a sharp Igbo girl, I entered the vehicle to Aba, Abia State, the home of fabrics. I want to pick my fabrics myself. For the asoebis, I got a very beautiful white lace for eight thousand naira per yard.
I added a scarf and a fancy handfan which was a total of ten thousand naira. Everything was a total of thirty-four thousand naira each.
But who says I am going to give my asoebi people at that price? Funny. They are my friends so I have the right to “sell” my asoebi.
I wanted to sell them for 60k for three yards, scarf and hand, but seeing that I wanted them to afford it, I settled for 50 thousand naira giving them a 10k discount.
Some people won't do this. It is none of my business that they will still spend money to settle their tailor, pay the makeup artist and take care of their footwear and hair.
Who said that I am not nice? I dropped the message in the group and everyone was awwwwwing about how beautiful the lace is__my eyes know their way to good things.
I didn't waste time posting my account details in the group. Soon my phone was blowing up with alerts.
They were still the broke ones who delayed a bit in sending in their money but finally did it before the deadline.
I sent everyone their fabric a month before the wedding. In the group chat, I told everyone to make any style they wanted but to look great.
See, some people even go as far as picking out a uniform style for their asoebi but because I am nice I let them choose a style for themselves.
It's the wedding day and my asoebi people are looking so peng. They made me proud. Three of them travelled from Lagos to the East for my wedding.
But it's not like people don't do more for others. If they don't do it for me, who will they do it for?
I lodged them in the hotel for the night and 6 of them shared one room. No way I would pay for two rooms for two nights. Besides, why would they sleep? The excitement of my wedding should keep them awake.
I have also done asoebi for people before and got a worse treatment. They should be happy that I even paid for a hotel for two nights for those who won't be able to go on the wedding day.
My wedding was lit. I danced and danced and even forgot to tell the caterer to keep food and drinks for my girls.
I also “forgot” to give them cuts from the cake. I could have sent someone to do that but I don't want anyone touching my cake. Besides, must they eat everything?
Why am I writing this? Because some of the asoebis have angrily left the group chat and called me names saying I am selfish and wicked. That I didn’t give them food nor did I at least call to know if they reached their destination safely. Don’t they know the way to their houses?
Do they know what it is to plan a wedding and get married? Single pringles. Anyway, I am still on my honeymoon and my husband needs me till I write to you again.
What I read this week
One thing I hate about adulthood is the way time flies. 24 hours seems like 2 minutes. So I rarely get time to read like before. I'm hoping to start a new book this week and cant wait to gist you guys in the next newsletter.
Picture of the week
Picture 1: This response is so true. And I'm wondering why it's so. It could it be about the mood your daddy will be or him wanting to show others that he can take care of his family.
Picture 2: I mean they are hidden.. for a reason. Maybe I don't need them anyway😂
Picture 3: I'm jealous that I didn't think of this before this person. But bruh! I'm a work of art. 😁
It's a wrap! Tell me, what do you think about my wedding? I'm a nice person right? If you agree with me then I will probably invite you to my wedding 😉😂
Till you read from me again, continue to thrive.
With love and everything beautiful
Chinonyelum
Congratulations
I can literally see you from your writings, you Trouble Maker 🤣